If there’s one concept I’ve never been wholly comfortable with, it’s the future. Think about it. Actually, no, don’t think about the future; it’s scary and uncomfortable.
My apprehension basically stems from fear of the unknown. Every day brings a newer case of Schrödinger’s cat in a box, only it’s not a cat in a box but time in a clock and situations in the vast expanse of physical reality. So yeah, screw the box and leave the cat alone for once. It’s Schrödinger’s TARDIS really, only you don’t have to dress in a colourful scarf or bow-tie unless you’re really just an eccentric.
With so many variables on how things may turn out, I find myself in a constant state of unease, and dealing with it is either the one thing no adult ever told me about being an adult or I’m too switched on to ignore it. For example, at this current time, it’s possible that Donald Trump will be elected to lead the most economically and culturally influential country in the Western world. It’s possible that the UK will be led out of a stable economical and political relationship with its nearest neighbours by a gaggle of too-proud middle-aged folk from the South-East. It’s possible that a calamitous meteor could collide with our own spinning rock and make all of this completely meaningless. The likelihood of each scenario happening is not actually equal here.
Perhaps this is why I’ve never particularly grasped any kind of hold on “what do you want to do with your life?” I’ve simply become comfortable with living in the present, one day after the next, without much anticipation of future events. Yes, it means that the rest of my life has simply been eradicated now, with no particular goal or end game in sight. Well, one that doesn’t involve a coffin, at any rate. Hell, I might not even get a coffin for all I know. I could end up in several pieces and left for the local wildlife to feast upon, never to be recovered. Or shot out of a cannon into the sea. Who knows? It’s the fucking future!
For now, I’m happy with now. I can watch TV, or read a book, or scratch my balls without pondering where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing in five or ten or twenty years time or more. All I know is the present and everything else is hypothetical. Like the money I keep putting into savings with the intention of buying property. For all my good intentions, that might never even happen and only serve to restrict my disposable income right now, making me ever so slightly more miserable in the present.
Where’s this actually going? Ah, fuck it, who knows? It’s the future!
Well, present me has run out of steam on this now and doesn’t know how to move this forward or wrap it up. Should I leave it for future me? No. No I should not because I’m trying desperately not to think about future things, no matter how difficult that may be. Okay then, present me, it’s time to end this one. But how, doesn’t future-thinking me usually come up with some punchy statement that links back to the subject matter at hand? Present me can’t do that on the fly!
Ah, bugger it. Read on for music. Or don’t.
Every once in a while, a song will come along that so polarising, you may even begin to doubt your own opinions on it. Upon first hearing this one, for instance, I was blasting the radio into my ears at 7am in my ritual attempt at actually getting up. As such, doubt was born. This sounds so happy yet so annoying, so upbeat yet so disparate, so dance-worthy yet so noose-swingy. With each repeat listen, I love and embrace the tune whilst simultaneously willing it to just end.
Reasons for inclusion here, then? Simply just that. I don’t want to just throw up things I like blindly. The idea behind this musical log is to keep track of the sounds that have affected me over the weeks and months. Try as we might to deny it, this song is a part of my life now. I’m not even sure whether I’ll look back on this one at the end of the year with fondness or utter despair. Although to be honest, it’ll probably still be both.
Animal Collective – FloriDada
Jamie Walsh 
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