You wake up. You groan. You rub your eyes and try to wrap your head around the idea that time for resting is over. You have to continue. You have to pick up where you left off yesterday. You hope that yesterday’s problems will lead to today’s solutions, yet somehow you already know that today may not offer the solutions you wanted and may, in fact, just bring more problems. You think you’re overthinking it. You think you’re being pessimistic, yet simultaneously you think you’re being realistic. You’re overthinking. You overcompensate by finding some distraction to occupy your mind and stop thinking of your problems.
You realise other people have problems. You want to help other people with their problems. You want other people to help you with yours. You don’t want to ask for help. You don’t want to make things all about you. You think you’re humble. You never want to say “look at me” even though you’re desperate for others to notice you. You feel others are better than you. You feel inferior. You think life is a competition. You think nobody notices you, even though you don’t notice anybody else. You think you’re isolated. You think nobody cares. You overthink. You never want to directly put yourself or your problems before someone. You want them to notice you without directly pointing this out. You overcompensate by dropping hints. You drop more than is necessary. You realise you’re overdoing it. You’re overdoing it. You’re overdoing it. You don’t think about others.
You chastise yourself. You isolate yourself. You wonder whether others care about your problems. You think you’re overthinking it. You get frustrated. You think you’re humble. You don’t want to be egotistical. You don’t want to make things all about you. You realise you probably are. You think others think you are too. You can’t handle that. You’re overthinking it. You hate yourself. You wonder whether “hate” is too strong a word. You hate yourself. You think others hate you. You think nobody notices you, even though you don’t notice anybody else. You overcompensate by taking interest in others. You feel others are better than you, yet simultaneously you realise you’re probably doing better than they are. You feel guilt. You wonder why your problems are problems, when other people’s problems are bigger. You feel inferior.
You try to sleep. You try to sleep. You try to sleep. You chastise yourself. You can’t switch off. You try to sleep. You wonder what’s the point of all this. You wonder if it’s worth it. You resent your constant stream of thought. You resent your constant stream of doubt. You wonder if this will go away. You think about your problems. You think about other people having problems. You think you’re important. You think others are more important. You think you’re even more important. Yo think life is a competition. You’re overthinking. You wonder if this will go away. You ponder methods of death. You wonder which would be the least painful. You call yourself ridiculous. You shouldn’t think of that. You wouldn’t dare anyway. You resent your constant stream of thought. You want to escape you. You can’t escape you. You try to sleep.
You wake up. You groan. You start writing about yourself. You worry you’ll make it all about you. You are making it all about you. You overcompensate by using second-person pronouns.
I don’t advertise my birthday on Facebook. I don’t like the idea of receiving a constant slew of notifications from people I barely know or speak to regularly, leaving me a hollow two-word message just because Facebook reminded them. It’s also extremely rare that I’d offer birthday messages to others using the medium. If I’m going to send someone a birthday greeting, I’d prefer to send a message privately or mention it in person. But that’s just what I think, and I’ve always felt out of kilter with the general populace.
Anyway, this comic duo sum everything up in the space of a minute better than I could in my current frame of mind. They also have a backlog of comedy tracks commenting on various aspects of social interactions, and an 8-part series on Netflix which is somewhat enjoyable despite being somewhat mediocre.
Garfunkel and Oates – Happy Birthday To My Loose Acquaintance
Jamie Walsh 
Leave a comment