Word Soup

There’s nothing I’d like more than to skip this for a bit. Just until I get my head into gear. There’s too many things going on in my head and I don’t even feel capable of concentrating on anything from one day to the next.

But I won’t ditch this. I’ll post something. It won’t be great. See? This is it. It’s shit, isn’t it? It’s getting exhausting moaning all the damn time but it’s really all I’ve got going for me to be honest. If I didn’t have so much crap blocking up my head I’d probably have something decent to ramble on about in an overly extravagant flowery fashion. Alas, we’re stuck with yet another off-week that’s not about anything in particular. Just a sad, fucked-up loser trying to figure out who he is before that identity is consumed from beneath him by external forces he thinks he has no control over.

It feels like a cop-out, and therefore it feels like I’m not even trying. But hey, if I wasn’t even trying, I would’ve given up after the first word. It’s terrible that I’m trying to create something here – a living account of stuff I think about essentially – yet keep taking weeks off. Then again, maybe I’m an overloaded battery that needs to discharge occasionally, and this lot of self-hating, nihilistic word soup is the best way of alleviating the stress from my head. If only for a minute or two.

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Here’s a thing. It’s by Pretenders. They’re from like the 80s. This isn’t. This is recent. I like it. That’s about it really.

What do you want, an essay? Just listen to it. It’s nice.

Pretenders – Holy Commotion