Annually Aggravated

It’s weeks like this that I realise my life could be so much worse; I could be the person in charge of Cadbury’s Twitter profile, trying to placate the angry swarms of ignorant and self-entitled cock-wombles over their seasonal product. Of course, the big news story of the moment appears to be that, once again, people are outraged that the word Easter isn’t actually engraved in 50-foot high letters on mounds of egg-shaped chocolate.

Despite the fact that chocolate egg shapes are generally only marketed and sold around this time of year (thus making them Easter products), people seem to take issue with the fact that the word isn’t emblazoned absolutely fucking everywhere. I was going to carry on rambling about how stupid this is but realised I pretty much did the same thing last year, only better and with more instances of the F-word.

For now then, I’ll just reiterate the basics. There’s a reason you never see chocolate eggs on the shelves in August. Because it’s not Easter then. Everyone knows what Easter is, just like everyone knows what Christmas is. Nobody sells Christmas Tinsel in June, it’s not the right time. When we see tinsel on the shelves in November, we still don’t have to call it Christmas Tinsel, we know what tinsel is and we know Christmas is coming. We’re really not that thick.

By the logic of all these annually aggravated Twits, a pumpkin in October should be branded a Halloween Pumpkin, bunches of flowers in March should be Mother’s Day Flowers, and the lazy man’s powdered pancake mix in a throwaway plastic shakey bottle should be called Pancake Day Powdered Pancake Mix, et cetera and et cetera.

And for all the furore around acknowledgement of the word Easter, I wonder just how of those complainants will spend more time in a church than than a supermarket this year. Or on Twitter.

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When it comes to the “music as art” sector, I’m neither really for or against it. I see music as something that gives enjoyment when listened to, regardless of whether it’s a twelve-minute long experimental tsunami of noise on an untuned violin or an accordion-based cover by Weird Al. This is more towards the artsy/experimental/”why-does-my-brain-hurt” side of things, but I have to say I’ve found enjoyment in each aspect of it.

Unlike the more prominent track Nautilus (which quite frankly sounds like the Doctor Who theme as heard from the inside of a washing machine), this one from futuristic, electronic, orchestral composer Anna Meredith has all the gusto about it of putting on a laser disco in the Royal Philharmonic. And let’s face it, who could say no to that?

Anna Meredith – The Vapours