There’s still a good couple of weeks until we actually reach December, so of course that means it’s supermarket Christmas TV advert campaign season, where all the major retailers remind us that it’s actually Christmas at the end of the year just in case any of us had forgotten. In the past, adverts have achieved... Continue Reading →

If I was the President of the United States of America, not only would that be fucking weird (imagine, a generally reclusive quiet boy from just off the Wirral - very much English but flirting with the Welsh border - as Commander in Chief of a totally alien nation), but also I would probably decide... Continue Reading →

Last time on whatever the hell this is, I opened up and poured out some stuff I hadn’t really mentioned to many, if any, people before. In case you can’t be bothered to go back and read through the last post from two weeks ago, allow me to give you a bit of a TL;DR... Continue Reading →

Several years ago, I began listening to a comedy podcast. Just two people chatting crap and making each other laugh with silly stories told in even sillier ways. I figured: “I wanna do that” but the lack of a comedic sparring partner and essential audio recording equipment meant that it was a dream that fell... Continue Reading →

The more I come back to this blog with stuff to moan about, the more I realise I don’t want to moan here. It all feels a bit too self-indulgent and, honestly, there are more important things in the world to be focusing on that aren’t me and my comparatively pathetic plights. Several of the... Continue Reading →

The blubber floating on top of my abdominals but under my skin has been taunting me for too long. I rejoined the gym. I’ve done two sessions of intense treadmill running and I can’t feel my feet any more. My thigh muscles have seized up and refuse to let me walk again. I’m extremely tired.... Continue Reading →

Sometimes - okay, a lot of the times - I have several monologues going on in my head. More often than not, they stem from some political topic of the day/week/Parliamentary term. So much to the point that the inner monologue doesn’t shut up at night, keeping me up later than I’d like to be... Continue Reading →

After a combination of tiredness, overeating, lengthy traffic and procrastination, I’ve abandoned what I was originally going to write about this week. It’s just as well really - it was largely negative and I’m trying not to go down that dark path too much. Plus I only managed about seven words of it before I... Continue Reading →

Surrounded by a complex of old disused shipping containers transformed into hipster-y street food outlets, I type left-handed with a pair of chopsticks poised in a suitable feeding position in my right. My innards are loaded up with Pad Thai, pear cider and pancakes, and the warm, clear day is being threatened by an abundance... Continue Reading →

All of my 32” waist jeans are becoming a chore to deal with. And by ‘deal with’, I mean ‘pull up past my thighs’. On the miraculous off-chance that I do manage to hoick them up to my waistline, no amount of sucking my stomach in helps to get the fastening button across. I don’t... Continue Reading →