As a soon to be 27-year-old, I don't feel it's really my place to talk about being old. However, as a physical being subjected to gradual physical decay and entropy, I'm going to have to weigh in - especially when what I'm about to say revolves around not being able to handle the after-effects of... Continue Reading →

Whenever I've played poker, I don't think I've ever been dealt a decent hand. Like a complete moron, I'm the kind of knobsicle that chooses to complain about this, blame the deck for being totally against me, and spending the bare minimum amount of chips to stay in on the off chance that I might... Continue Reading →

It's late. I've left this late again. So much for commitments, even if they're only commitments I make with myself. Well, I say "commitments", plural. Really I just mean "commitment", singular. And that sole commitment is "write something once a week". Evidently, I struggle to keep up with that, so God only knows how the... Continue Reading →

One of the greatest aspects of democracy is that everybody gets the opportunity to have their say, and therein lies its biggest downfall. You can't really trust the general public with anything that involves expressing an opinion. It's why television programmes centred on telephone-based voting are usually so terrible; there's nothing particularly wrong with content... Continue Reading →

Similarly to an episode of dark and moody meth drama Breaking Bad, I spent a considerable portion of Monday night getting infuriated by a fly. The little bugger wasn't posing any threat to the integrity of my exploits in chemistry, though. Instead I just wanted to go to sleep, but couldn't due to the fact... Continue Reading →

The following set of words contains potential plot spoilers for Season 6 Episode 2 of Game of Thrones and should not be read by anybody who isn't up to speed with such a high profile show and is actually dumb enough to not see what was already coming several miles off. Media outlets run on... Continue Reading →

An open letter to The Grim Reaper Hey buddy, So, what's the matter, champ? I can't help but notice you've been acting out a bit lately. I mean, since the beginning of the year, you've gone on a bit of a celebrity free-for-all, placing those cold, bony fingers on several well-known and significantly talented cultural... Continue Reading →

The town I used to live in is filled with boarded up shops and smells of weed. Well, the bus station smells of weed. Well, the bus station at 10pm filled with congregations of tracksuited teenagers smells of weed. The thing about the derelict shops requires no further description. As I tap this out on... Continue Reading →

Can't think. What to write? What to write? What to write? Um... ooh, I don't know. "Stop stressing. This weekly deadline thing you do, it's only self imposed. You're not failing anyone by flagging a little. You're just having an 'off week'... I suppose. This space only exists to keep your writing active..." Yeah, I... Continue Reading →

On Saturday night, I ran for an interrupted total of about 90 seconds and has firmly become one of the worst decisions I've made in recent times. Worse than drunkenly downloading Super Mario Maker for forty quid, playing it about three times and never being able to swap it in a store for credit due... Continue Reading →