Throughout the winter months, life takes on the format of "you wake in the dark, you go home in the dark" and daily tasks become meaningless and laborious chores. Heck, even opening the curtains of a morning seems futile when the first thing required after getting in is to close them. This general mood of... Continue Reading →

There's nothing like a famous death to give you an existential crisis. I've spent the last few weeks unashamedly marathoning the first eight seasons of How I Met Your Mother, despite having seen all of it before and not really paying attention. The only reason I haven't bothered chasing it with Season 9 is because... Continue Reading →

No sooner had I thrown myself onto the sweet chilli sauce bandwagon, I've been disgustingly thrown off it again. Or rather after realising a few short months ago how much I actually like throwing the stuff all over every kind of food imaginable, I've been put off from it after throwing the stuff up. Let's... Continue Reading →

Way back in the time of black-and-white film, indoor pipe smoking and the unironic wearing of knitted jumpers, the Earth's climate wasn't quite as fucked up as it is now and it was common occurrence for snow to fall in December. To confirm this, a knitted jumper wearing, pipe smoking, black-and-white filmed man named Bing... Continue Reading →

It took about an entire year of on/off depression, low motivation, lack of vitality, tears, world-weariness and general apathy for me to realise: "maybe I shouldn't actually be feeling like this."Somewhere along the way, my lifestyle routine transformed into one where my days are spent stressing about things I have no control over, my nights... Continue Reading →

It always used to freak me out when machinery went a little haywire. I've spoken (typed?) before about my childhood wary of a PlayStation that may or may not have become sentient, intended to switch itself on in the middle of the night and secretly want to eat me. That's nothing.The following story encompasses several... Continue Reading →

As I write this, it's Wednesday morning. Hello future! How are you doing over there in November? It's October here. Sorry to be writing to you from the other side of Halloween but I'm a bit stuck over here. Let me clarify, the Internet's down in work. Well, by now it probably isn't, but for... Continue Reading →

My feelings towards modern technology have taken a downward turn. I awoke yesterday morning to two text messages I'd received overnight. This is notable considering I never get messages unless EE decide they suddenly want to offer me tickets to a gig, stand-up show or other miscellaneous event I'm really not interested in. It's got... Continue Reading →

Three birthdays ago, I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish with my life. I turned 22 and the idea of numerology stepped into my brain, making me believe that the number 22 was special because it consisted of two twos and because I was born on a day designated the 22nd of... Continue Reading →

This has taken a bit of a backseat in my life lately. Actually, if anything, this has been dumped in the furthest corner of the trailer hitched up to the back of my metaphorical life-mobile. You know, the life-mobile. Like the Bat-mobile only with less men in tights and more spiralling entropy. Anyway, the essence... Continue Reading →