Staring at a blinking cursor in the top-left corner of a field of white is usually how one of these things starts. Somehow it all works out though and takes the shape of blocks of text that I've become so adamant to etch onto the face of the Internet. See, it's the starting that's the... Continue Reading →

The human brain is a pretty amazing thing when you think about it. In fact, thinking about it actually requires the human brain to do something, resulting in some weird Brain-ception where Edith Piaf sings in slow motion, spinning tops remain in perpetual motion and Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't win an Oscar. My human brain woke... Continue Reading →

Throughout the winter months, life takes on the format of "you wake in the dark, you go home in the dark" and daily tasks become meaningless and laborious chores. Heck, even opening the curtains of a morning seems futile when the first thing required after getting in is to close them. This general mood of... Continue Reading →

There's nothing like a famous death to give you an existential crisis. I've spent the last few weeks unashamedly marathoning the first eight seasons of How I Met Your Mother, despite having seen all of it before and not really paying attention. The only reason I haven't bothered chasing it with Season 9 is because... Continue Reading →

No sooner had I thrown myself onto the sweet chilli sauce bandwagon, I've been disgustingly thrown off it again. Or rather after realising a few short months ago how much I actually like throwing the stuff all over every kind of food imaginable, I've been put off from it after throwing the stuff up. Let's... Continue Reading →

Way back in the time of black-and-white film, indoor pipe smoking and the unironic wearing of knitted jumpers, the Earth's climate wasn't quite as fucked up as it is now and it was common occurrence for snow to fall in December. To confirm this, a knitted jumper wearing, pipe smoking, black-and-white filmed man named Bing... Continue Reading →

It took about an entire year of on/off depression, low motivation, lack of vitality, tears, world-weariness and general apathy for me to realise: "maybe I shouldn't actually be feeling like this."Somewhere along the way, my lifestyle routine transformed into one where my days are spent stressing about things I have no control over, my nights... Continue Reading →

It always used to freak me out when machinery went a little haywire. I've spoken (typed?) before about my childhood wary of a PlayStation that may or may not have become sentient, intended to switch itself on in the middle of the night and secretly want to eat me. That's nothing.The following story encompasses several... Continue Reading →

As I write this, it's Wednesday morning. Hello future! How are you doing over there in November? It's October here. Sorry to be writing to you from the other side of Halloween but I'm a bit stuck over here. Let me clarify, the Internet's down in work. Well, by now it probably isn't, but for... Continue Reading →

My feelings towards modern technology have taken a downward turn. I awoke yesterday morning to two text messages I'd received overnight. This is notable considering I never get messages unless EE decide they suddenly want to offer me tickets to a gig, stand-up show or other miscellaneous event I'm really not interested in. It's got... Continue Reading →