The notion of a forward moving career trajectory right now feels as pointless and non-existent as a vigorously sandpapered unicorn horn. I only bring this up again because of recent events relating to the actions of others in the world of Facebook and because working in retail over the Christmas period is enough to send... Continue Reading →

Money-wise, I'm on my last ass right now. I would say I'm on my last legs but my bank balance is far too low now that not even metaphorical legs can save it. And as far as figures of speech go, the last ass seems more fitting. According to Andy Williams, it's the most wonderful... Continue Reading →

When Internet historians in the distant 45th century take off their headsets, disable their brain chips and discover our primitive mesh of information transfer, they'll probably wonder how we managed. They'll marvel at how people had to use their fingers to manually input individual characters to spread the word. They'll wonder how a static, two-dimensional... Continue Reading →

So yeah, October can bugger off. The whole month has skipped by without me getting much of a chance to input words into this 'ere white space via the data highway. Well, I say that. Actually, I don't say that; I'm not sitting here talking to a keyboard. What I mean is: Well, I type... Continue Reading →

The old work/sleep routine has well and truly been reinstated. The fact that I actually have time on a Wednesday afternoon to type words into this is nothing short of miraculous. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating there; miracles aren't that bland. Sorry, brain's not working and I have an awful lot of stuff from the last... Continue Reading →

It's a rare occurrence for me to check my emails; even more rare than me checking my older email address. I currently claim ownership of two separate accounts, completely going against everything nineteen-year-old me stands for. The way nineteen-year-old me sees it, you are one person, therefore you only need one account. One email address,... Continue Reading →

Contrary to how it sounds, violent mood swings are not (necessarily) the way one would describe the sensation of being hit repeatedly over the head with a golf club made of anguish. Instead, "violent mood swings" is how one might describe the sensation of being hit directly in the life with a something made out... Continue Reading →

Dear The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time,Whoa, Jesus, man! Seriously?! I mean, forgive the lack of clarity to such outbursts and rest assured they shall be clarified soon enough, but seriously, are you for reallies?! Anyway, it's nice that you've dominated a solid week and a half of my time and filled it with... Continue Reading →

Words are great, aren't they. Of course they are, you're looking at them. Without them all this would be meaningless. Trying to find the right words for any occasion, though, is a bit more tricky. Like this. After typing the word "tricky" I just stared blankly at the screen for about eleven-and-a-half minutes wondering what... Continue Reading →

Hi there. You know, we've had a lot of fun over here and we've touched on quite a few important topics - procrastination, boredom, weather - and they've all been a approached with an air of witticism and whimsy you probably wouldn't normally waste on a dog with cataracts. But now, we here at this... Continue Reading →