Dear Future, I'm not even sure if you'll get this, but I write to you on the off-chance that you will. You see, I know it seems as though humankind of the past has forsaken you and left you in the state you're in now (I can only assume disarray), but there are many of... Continue Reading →

It wasn't terrifically long ago that my similarly-aged peers and I would while away our free time by filling ourselves up with booze, staying up 'til all hours and generally laughing about things that don't matter. However, because time is all relative and life hates you, several years seem to have passed in the blink... Continue Reading →

There's a tiny spider living in my driver's-side wing mirror. I know this because I've seen it. I've seen it scuttle through the the gap between the mirror's edge and the plastic dome that surrounds the back of it. Occasionally, I'll see a little leg - no bigger than an eyelash - poking out the... Continue Reading →

With a title like "My Dad Wrote A Porno", I went into my first listen of the podcast series somewhat apprehensively. I mean, sure, it's a funny and bizarre premise, but I've never really been totally on board with overly sexualised things. Fortunately, the former outweighed the latter in such exceptional measure that - despite... Continue Reading →

If it hadn't absolutely pissed down on the Friday, camping would've been a much nicer experience. Sure the ground started to solidify towards the back half of the weekend, but that initial torrential downpour - coupled with the relentless boot-steps of hundreds of much-more-prepared campers - meant that trudging through slop was the background to... Continue Reading →

It's been a year since I was first allowed to drive a motorised vehicle on Britain's roads. Apparently all I needed to do was not fuck up a simple drive around various areas for forty-or-so minutes and not piss off the woman who was judging me. It all seems so easy in hindsight. The last... Continue Reading →

It gets annoying listening to yourself telling you off. Like, I know, me! I have to go back to gym again some time. I know I paid for the year upfront and only stuck with it for four or five months. But it's summer and it's hot and I'm too exhausted by the heat and... Continue Reading →

Milk Chocolate Viennese Thins from Tesco are probably the greatest things ever to happen to planet Earth. Of course, I say probably. I'm not sure whether they could rightly contend with the domestic refrigerator or the ending of apartheid, but they should be up there. Then again, I say this after only eating them for... Continue Reading →

Once again, words won't come. I mean I had a moment of clarity when doing my job of writing earlier in the week. This old thought was popping up where I try to put the writing into practice but nothing seems to flow. I thought "why am I even doing this?" and the answer was... Continue Reading →

The reason we Brits struggle when the temperature dares to exceed 22°C is because, quite simply, we are not used to it. In other places around the world - more tropical climates for instance - the average temperature can hover around 30°C all year round and nobody bats an eyelid. So why do they find... Continue Reading →