Surrounded by a complex of old disused shipping containers transformed into hipster-y street food outlets, I type left-handed with a pair of chopsticks poised in a suitable feeding position in my right. My innards are loaded up with Pad Thai, pear cider and pancakes, and the warm, clear day is being threatened by an abundance... Continue Reading →

All of my 32” waist jeans are becoming a chore to deal with. And by ‘deal with’, I mean ‘pull up past my thighs’. On the miraculous off-chance that I do manage to hoick them up to my waistline, no amount of sucking my stomach in helps to get the fastening button across. I don’t... Continue Reading →

Remember when I was saying it was too cold and I couldn’t wait for some warmth? Of course you do, it was only a couple of months ago. Now I’m going out of my way to say it’s too warm. So warm, in fact, it’s hot. So hot, in fact, it’s too hot. Beverages barely... Continue Reading →

This time again, is it? Bollocks. Alright, erm... well what about... Hmm... Wait... nope, nothing. Oh, hayfever’s been bad this year. And it isn’t even summer yet. Not properly anyway. Just did a massive sneeze right on cue there as well. Not so much a sneeze, more of an uncontrolled violent scream followed by speedy... Continue Reading →

This is what you get when he leaves it late to write something. This is also what you get when it’s extremely hot, especially in comparison to how the month began. In the space of 20-something days, the Baltic rainstorms have been replaced by indoor-fan weather. “Don’t want to go outside” has been replaced with... Continue Reading →

The following sentence will probably be the most grown-up thing I’ve ever had to write. I’ve just been to see a mortgage advisor. Despite a pleasant meeting, in-depth discussion and comfy chairs, I have to admit I’ve come away from the whole affair feeling a little deflated. It seems all that extra inflation air has... Continue Reading →

Social media memories are the worst, right? So there I am, minding my own business by casually snooping into other people’s, reaching for the shortbread biscuits, still in the clothes I slept in, when I’m suddenly reminded: “Hey, remember twelve months ago when you had a gym membership and liked to run? Remember? You did... Continue Reading →

Social media is a terrible scourge upon this planet. That must be true – Wetherspoons says so. Putting aside theories of them trying wipe any potential evidence that might implicate them in a future case of mishandling of personal data, there’s some validity in the concerns they express. It’s common nowadays for well-meaning celebrities to... Continue Reading →

Upon hearing the news on Monday morning that a drunk driver had caused a fatal collision in the early hours, after driving the wrong way down a motorway, I have to admit I was kind of freaked out. Not so much by the sense that we’re all potentially moments away from having our fleeting time... Continue Reading →

It’s at this point, facing the equinox and the prospect of shifting our collective timekeeping ahead by an hour, that I’m hoping that’s it for the snow and ice now. It’s still cold and windy, but at least it’s brighter and should be less likely for blizzard conditions to occur. Yes, I’ve resorted to moaning... Continue Reading →